Shanzimia

We started to date 3 years ago, everything was so incredible, I thought that she is the one. And it was...but not for long, we marry 1 year ago, and we moved together, the sun and the sky were with us every day, so they know, I loved her so much. She waked me every morning, I think she loved me too much and it was too much for me to handle. I was crazy about that women and she at least I can say this, act like she was crazy about me, we had so many dates, so many moments alone, so many happy moments. But step by step, my feelings start to change, or probably to disappear is a better way to say it, I was scared about this from the beginning, and it finally happened. I came home from work, and she came one hour after me from her one, but in that hour, I didn't want to see her, I didn't feel anything thinking about she trying to hug an kiss me, nothing, I was empty. It was so nice when, in the past..when we leave separated I imagine about the way that she was using her time, but know I know, and ...honestly I don't really like it, maybe she thinks the same thing about me. Now, I'm sitting here...in the kitchen I'm smoking a cigarette, and she is here too, but I feel, lonely, lonely with the women that I used to love. I hate myself for this, I hate that my feelings disappear, and I don't know how to change this. She told me tonight that we should try to make a child, because we need something more in our life, like an anchor. But I'm scared to have a child with a woman that I don't love anymore because I'm not sure I will be able to love the child, I'm the worst husband and I don't want to be the worst father too. Yesterday ...