In Search Of...?

"The Journey" was my personal coming out as gay. "In Search Of...?" goes into areas the first book did not venture. I touched on people, yet did not touch on emotions. Over the course of the past two years, since the publication of "The Journey," I had joined a web-group called "Quora." The question asked brought about some deep soul-searching and helped in writing this book. "In Search of...?" is my emotional journey of finding the person who got lost. Knowing how deeply I loved and what I was forced to deny for most of my life. It is also a search for what I truly want in life. I lost so much, sacrificed decades of my life for others while losing the most important person of all. I lost Me. This is a journey as well. Life is a journey. Every single step we take is a journey. One of my favorite movies of all times is: "Dangerous Minds." Michelle Pfeiffer playing Louanne Johnson, as a teacher in an inner-city school. Her character, based upon a true story. I have used the lesson she taught many times when working as a substitute teacher. CHOICE. I could choose to let my life pass into nothing. Just become an unknown person who endured a lot of pain and abuse and never let anyone know. Simply live my life as an unknown. OR, I could choose to write about it. Put the pain, abuse, and challenges down on paper or e-book and share what I experienced with others. Let them have a voice through my words. I knew by making that choice, it would give me two more choices. Knowing I could get backlash from relatives who would not believe the things written and calling me a liar. Knowing what I say is true because the proof is on my skin with the scars from the abuse. Which in itself are two more choices, and so forth? I am a contradiction in more ways than one. I am someone who has been through a lot of things and yet I still have a gentle heart. I have been seriously hurt, and I still love. I hope what I have written, not only touches your heart, it touches your spirit. I hope it encourages you and helps you to know, you are not alone.