Rotten, Mouldy, Music

In the Mouldy Series of books for humorous children, Ant, his bossy sister Emma who calls herself M For Madwoman and his pesky little brother, Old Dan, learn to get along with one another. This is what Ant has to say about the book "Rotten, Mouldy, Music": - "My big sister Emma's studying 'Enterprise'. No one knows what enterprise is or where you can get some. They told her at Enterprise that adults choose the books children have got to read. Em says that's our problem: we need to sell this book to the adults who buy the books kids have got to like. The first rule of Enterprise is that I have to tell you I wasn't always this successful and I used to live on a trailer park. I asked Em if we ever lived in any kind of park, but she says to skip that part and she told me that I'm not successful at anything. Next I have to say what your problem is and how this book will solve your problem. So, your problem is, this is the book you need to buy but you don't know it yet. You can solve your problem by buying this book. The benefits are, you are going to learn a lot of neat things, like how to spell important words that don't exist and how to spell stupid words that the Guvermnt says we've got to learn, like 'anchor', which is a word no one ever uses. A boy in my class at school, called Daniel Withers, says that's where he disagrees with the Guvermnt. Yes Emma, he said it just like that. He said, "That's where I disagree with the Guvermnt." No, Em, I don't know how he spells it, but he said we should have to learn very useful words, like, however it is you spell 'Guvermnt' and how to spell 'thingy'. Bonus Material Now I have to give you what Em calls, "YOUR FREE BONUS." This is very important new stuff I don't normally tell anyone. In America you say that horrible things are moldy. You say to your mom, "Mom, this music is moldy." But as soon as you get off the aeroplane in London, you've got to start calling her Mum and say mouldy. Then, driving along, you can't say, "I'm super excited to be on this black top highway!" Say instead, "How jolly interesting to drive on a motorway and notice an anchor in the central reservation." So that's the benefits for adults. Now what about kids? Well kids, you are going to learn about sibling rivalry. (That's me and Dan versus Emma.) Then you will read about siblings without rivalry. (That's me and Dan versus Emma.) Obviously, it's also about families, because we've got to include my Mum, Mom, mother, who is the anchor of our family." What all this means is, you need to buy the book.