Traits of American Humour Volume 2

Publisher Marketing: "Mother!" exclaimed Josh Beanpole, "Mother, I say, I feel all over in a twitteration like. Huh! huh! Who'd have thought it?" "What ails ye, Josh?" asked the old woman, stopping her spinning-wheel at this exclamation. "What bug has bit you now?" "Can't tell," said Josh, in a drooping, dolorous tone, and hanging his head as if he had been caught stealing a sheep. "Can't tell?" said Mrs. Beanpole, turning quite round, and giving Josh a wondering stare. "Can't tell? what does the critter mean?" "Who'd ha' thought it?" repeated Josh, fumbling in his pockets, twisting round his head and rolling up his eyes in a fashion most immensely sheepish.-"Hannah Downer's courted!" Here Josh shuffled himself awkwardly into the settle in the chimney corner, and sunk upon one side, fixing his eyes with a most ludicro-dismal squint upon the lower extremity of a pot-hook that hung at the end of the crane. "Courted!" exclaimed Mrs. Beanpole, not exactly comprehending the state of her son's intellectuals. "Well-what's all that when it's fried?" "Arter so many pails of water as I've pumped for her," said Josh in a dismal whine, -"for to go for to let herself to be courted by another feller!" "Here's a to-do!" ejaculated the old woman. "It's tarnation all over!" said Josh, beginning a bolder tone as he found his mother coming to an understanding of the matter. "It makes me crawl all over to think on't. Didn't I wait on her three times to singing school? Hadn't I e'en a most made up my mind to break the ice, and tell her I shouldn't wonder if I had a sneakin' notion arter somebody's Hannah? I should ha' been reg'lar courting in less than a month-and Peet Spinbutton has cut me out-as slick as a whistle!" "Peet Spinbutton!" said the old woman, "well, I want to know!" "Darn his eyes!" exclaimed Josh. "Peet Spinbutton!" repeated Mrs. Beanpole; "what, the ensign of the Dogtown Blues? that great lummokin' feller!"