Salvation and Damnation: Make My Day Book -24

Publisher Marketing: About the book "Salvation and Damnation" Originally, Larry Henares planned a 24-volume series of his Make My Day columns and broadcasts. This was scheduled to be finished by the time Henares reached his 80th birthday, in time for his resignation from the human race. This would make this 24th book, "Salvation and Damnation" the last of the series. But this may not yet be the end. Larry Henares has reached the ripe old of 81 years, going on 82, but the old ticker is ticking still, despite a life-long bout with high blood pressure and diabetes. Thanks to his doctors, Lynn Rivera, cardiologist, and May Sison, endocrinologist, and the care of yayas Angelique Castillo and Miriam Zaragoza, as well as his secretary Flory Suaverdez (who stayed with him for the last 46 years), Larry Henares finds himself very much in the pink of health, with a consistent blood pressure of 120/80, blood sugar of 104 mg/dl, and an active love life - as though he is still a teen-ager. On the eve of his annual executive check-up, he hopes that no cancer cells will have invaded his body, and that he can still continue his writings and broadcasts up to the age of 87, at which age, according to the Bureau of Census and Statistics, he should be kicking the bucket and pushing up daisies from six feet under. In this 24th book, there is a hilarious foreword by his son-in-law Eric Angeles that has assumed the shape of a classic among "introductions of guest speakers," in the Rotary circuit. Henares has not lost his touch. He can still make you laugh (about fried eggs, about Salud in an elevator, about Shorty whose brains are too close to his asshole, about Bruja, the bride of Frankenstein, about Small Dick and Needle Dick). He can make you cry with the angels, with his pieces on the sweetest sound, the lost wallet, the Miracle of the Song. And he can make you think and act and be angry. Three times he becomes really serious in this book, (1) when he talks of a Revolution, a historical necessity he may not be around to witness; (2) when he writes about the Constitution which is being changed to fit the ambitions of evil men; and (3) when he fulminates against Milk Companies and how The Unholy Trinity, God the Father, God the Daughter and God the Holy Skeleton, won the war to protect Filipino infants from these baby-killers. Read on. TABLE OF CONTENTS Foreword by Enrico Angeles, son-in-law: What do you talk about with Larry? - p6 PERSONALITIES - p8 Are you an egg segmenter or an egg beater? - p8 Salud and the blacks, Ryan the genius - p9 Stories like Mary Ann Macatol's never end - p11 1. Britain's 200,000-strong Filipino community - p12 2. 'Filipino culture is centered around food, family and God' - p14 3. Filipinos are Magnificently Sexist - p15 Ching, Jovy Salonga was never this petty - p16 Steve Salonga owns no Benz, no mansion - p17 Beyond the blue horizon, joy unbounded - p19 Great men leave so-so descendants - p21 Joe Lingad, the planting of a seed - p22 Funny thing on the way to White House - p24 Birthday Centennial of Tomas Maramba y Garcia - p26 Et tu, Bruja, Bride of Frankenstein - p28 Shorty has brains too close to his ass - p30 In God We Trust, but not Bernas - p32 Haunted by Holy Ghost and Sr. Edelwina - p33 Joker re His Septic Majesty, King Fecal - p35 Eagles gather, good time for all - p37 Pin weds: Not yet, give us our moment - p38 Why it sucks to be a Dick Romulo or a Dick Gordon - p40 The Best of the Year Awards - p41 Duck, dog, snake, beaver, it's Platypus! - p43 Platypus had a Japanese grand-uncle - p45 THE SWEETEST SOUND, STORIES, SIGHT AND SIGHS - p46 The Sweetest Sound In All the World - p46 The Wallet, from the Internet - p48 Love makes miracles! - p51 K-K-K-Katy, wonderful Katy - p52 Kulas wanted to be guest of Jojo Binay - p54 Dangerous Life: EDSA in a Hall of Mirrors - p56 Days of Anger, Year of Fear, by Rosanna L. Henares - p57 THE ECONOMY AND THE NATION - p67 etc etc etc