The Misadventures of Russell Quigley: Photographer's Mate, United States Navy 2nd edition

The Misadventures of Russell Quigley: Funny Stories of Life in the Navy
Looking for a funny book? Well, you found it! The Misadventures of Russell Quigley is a collection of funny stories woven into the fabric of Russell's life as a navy photographer. It will remind you of "No Time For Time for Sergeants" and "Mr. Roberts." If you enjoy military humor, it is a must read.

Russell Quigley

Russell Quigley was born afraid. He spent a lot of time hiding out behind the garage to avoid his father's explosive temper. Russell tried to please his father, but seldom got it right. He was rewarded with a lightning fast slap on the side of his head. He learned to follow the rules. And, if he had to follow the rules, he believed you should too.

After an epic battle with a school bully, Russell became a bit of a paradox. He was still afraid, but he would stand up to anyone. Russell developed a sharp tongue and achieved a black belt in verbal karate.

Warrant Officer Butz put it this way: "Quigley, you are the most arrogant, condescending, self-righteous bastard I ever met." You would not expect Russell to have any friends, but he was the champion of the underdog and the leader of the ne'er-do-wells.

Boot Camp

"Chief's ass, SIR to you," bellowed the bellicose, potbellied chief glaring down at me through the window of his white, wooden outhouse in the center of the road. Well, I didn't know much, but I knew those anchors on his collar meant he was a chief, so I said, "Sir?"

"Yes, SIR," he said. "While you are here, you will address all senior petty officers as SIR."

"Yes sir, SIR," I said.

There was a bus waiting at the gate to take the recruits to naked city where they were given new wardrobes and learned how to "fall in."

Russell had his first captain's masts before leaving boot camp, he had two more at Airman Prep School, and then on to photo school where he prayed that the Navy didn't have a limit.

Russell had a captain's mast at Treasure Island, a stop-over on his way to Barbers Point, Hawaii, his first duty station. He accidentally set the barracks on fire. He didn't mean to. You see, well, there really isn't enough space here to explain; anyway, it's in the book.

Barbers Point, HawaiiWhen the FBI arrested Quigley, he was sure he would spend serious time in the brig, But Chief Buckly came to his rescue. It was Quigley's first day on the job; Chief Buckly didn't really know Quigley yet.

The Naval Photographic CenterQuigley was told when he checked in that he was on report for stealing a high altitude flight suit. It took six months to clear it up; meanwhile, he was treated like dirt. But then, he was always treated like dirt. Something about his people skills.

Many readers have told me that "Fat Pat" is the funniest story in the book. Fat pat hated the Navy and wanted out. She was trying to get a morals discharge. Remember, this was the fifties: A man wasn't a man unless he could brag about his conquests, but a woman was eligible for a morals discharge if she had sex with two men in the same century. Caution: Fat Pat is X-rated.

A Civilian Again

Russell Quigley left the Navy after four years. It was his dream to go to college on the G I Bill. Russell was married by now and had a baby boy. He soon learned the G I Bill did not cover his expenses. He also discovered he missed being where the action is. He joined the Navy again in 1960. Back then, the Navy wiped the slate clean when you re-enlisted, but Russell was bound to fill it up again.