Second Parent

Despite a growing number of people who identify as LGBTQ, there are surprisingly few accounts of queer parenthood. Written by a lesbian, non-biological mother, this story fills the gap with perspective and grace.




After her wife gave birth, Lora struggled to find her identity as a new parent and lesbian, non-biological mother. When she learned that the legal system did not fully recognize her parental status as a non-biological parent, she chose to do a "second parent" adoption. Initially, this further spurred feelings of inadequacy. She was not the bio-mom. She was the second parent, the other mother. As Lora's son grew, she grappled to fit into social and legal landscapes and even her own family.




In this memoir, Lora shares an honest account of her journey into parenthood. She reflects on growing up with a mother living with mental illness and how that experience raised questions about her new role. With clarity and humor, Lora describes her new identity as a lesbian, non-biological mother, which grows to encompass the words parent, mother, and family.




Second Parent is a current account of life as a queer parent, post 2016 United State's elections. This story acknowledges the frequently confusing patchwork of state legal systems affecting LGBTQ families. Lora describes her own narrative against this backdrop, as a lesbian, non-biological mother living in the Northwest.