Reptile Wines

Miles Trout is dubious when cousin Lucky Tarpitz keels over in public a second time--and the corpse disappears. A bizarre memorial in the local combo Pizza and Crematorium launches the socially confused Napa Valley tour guide Miles on a yearlong crusade to uncover what really happened.



In his search, Miles is drawn into a dark world of money launders and government agents. He continually tangles with Lucky's scheming mother Angelina, the high-voltage rebellious daughter of the dynastic DellaContorni wine family and the woman known as the Reptile. She defies staid Napa Valley traditions when she opens her Wild West themed tasting room at Reptile Wines. Angelina also bankrolls Emelina, Lucky's stepsister, who repeatedly guns for Miles in her SUV to spice up a soon-to-be-published book on relationship revenge.



Miles's search for Lucky includes a stint as owner of the lazy Thoroughbred horse Love Blisters, an encounter with the witch China Rose, his halting love affair with the former exotic dancer and jockey Pixie Limber, and his shocking discovery of the once vaporized winemaker Victor Koz, long ridiculed for his conversations with outer space aliens. Koz resurfaces to officiate at the historic Napa area landing of an interstellar spaceship probe sent from Saturn's moon Titan.



Finally, a psychic and a witch healer set Miles on a new trail that leads to a dusty Mexican graveyard, where he smells something fishy among the spotless headstones.