Don't Vote - It Just Encourages the Bastards Unabridged edition

Red State. Blue State. Republicans. Democrats. Bailout. Stimulus. Health Care Reform. Blah blah blah. Has there ever been a moment where politics have sucked any more? Don?t Vote ? It Just Encourages the Bastards is a brilliant, disturbing, hilarious, and ultimately sobering look at why politics and politicians are a necessary evil ? but only just barely necessary. P. J. presents his Sex, Death, and Boredom Theory of Politics, which breaks the social contract down to power, freedom, and responsibility by using a party game, Kill, F@#k, Marry, more typically found in late-night giggle sessions at all-girls boarding schools. With this tripartite lens of politics, O?Rourke looks at the financial crisis (?The best investment I?ve made lately? I left a $20 bill in the pocket of my tweed jacket last spring, and I just found it?), the bailout, health care reform (?Something doesn?t add up. Politicians are telling me that I can smoke, drink, gain two hundred pounds, then win an iron man triathlon at age ninety-five?), the stimulus package, climate change (?There?s not a god-damn thing you can do about it . . . There are 1.3 billion people in China and they all want a Buick?), trade imbalance, the end of the American automobile industry, U. S. foreign policy and the Family of Nations (?Uncle Russia?s out on parole, drunk, unemployed, and likely to kill some folks next door again soon?), campaign finance reform, gun control, No Child Left Behind (?What if they deserve to be left behind??), and pretty much everything else under the sun. His findings: Put the country?s big, fat political ass on a diet. Lose that drooping deficit. Slim those spreading entitlement programs. Firm up that flabby pair of butt cheeks, which are the Senate and the House. Listen to P. J. O?Rourke on the pathetic nature of politics and laugh through your tears or ? what the hell ? just laugh.