Shadow Living

Today I began re-reading John Steinbeck's classic book "Travels With Charlie, In Search Of America." As always happens when I read this book I am reminded of how there is an inner desire among most people to travel. It isn't to travel to arrive at a particular destination as much as it is to, as Steinbeck says, "just get away." Whether we care to admit it or not we all have that little voice inside of us that keeps saying "just go. Do it. Leave and see where you end up." Most people are able to ignore that little voice and continue living their humdrum lives with the end result being retired with nothing to do and nothing to show for all the years they toiled in a little cubicle hoping to someday officially "retire." My question was retire and do what? My answer was always retire to travel, see what lies just around the next corner or bend in the road. I thought that I would never (and still hold to this) see my life suddenly just stop after the official retirement of mind and soul from a job that I didn't like in the first place. My goals were always set higher and with the end result of being able to enjoy the freedom I worked so hard to attain. And then, when retirement was a reality rather than a dream I found that I was lost. Fortunately I had my health and a deeply rooted desire to continue with life. The path however was a little clouded by circumstances. People that required my attention soon found that I was now available more than before and used that opportunity to insert themselves into my life and my time. Though I was happy to "help" I was not so happy about having to change my retirement plans and remain grounded rather than driving down the road to unknown destinations with no time limits or road blocks in my way. Yes today I began re-reading John Steinbeck's classic novel "Travels With Charlie, In Search Of America" and still that small voice calls me to the open road. Never, I say to myself, will I go gently into the night without a fight to the end. Never will I allow myself to revert back to my childhood days dependent on anyone or anything other than my own wits. Lord willing I will once again tomorrow wake up full of enthusiasm for life and the wonders of what the day holds before me. I hope that you are able to determine your future with that hope ever present in your mind. Keep going forward through life. And, when the final bell tolls, be confident in the fact that your eternity is secure and that it holds wonders and adventures you've not even imagined.