Matthew Helbig

Why I Can't Have Nice Kings Matthew Helbig

He wrote the perfect fantasy world ...

But the world he finds himself in is perfectly silly.


After one too many bad reviews, fantasy author Harry Olson drinks himself into unconsciousness and wakes up in what he thinks is a television show based on the world he created.

Unable to get the actors to break character, he is forced to play along. Unfortunately, whoever wrote the show only did enough research to get the basic descriptions of his world down and little else. If only he had read the fine print in his first contract. Demanding a good butt double would have been nice, too.

Determined to escape so that he can publish his side of the story before the show airs, he is stopped at every turn by singing knights, cartoonishly accented tribesmen, naked allies, tickling thieves, and his own awe-inspiring cowardice.